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 Urdu jokes 
Heart Touching Story

Ek bache ka Dost Samunder main doob k mar gia.
Wo roz samundar kinare jata or khara ho jata Lehrain ati or us ke payon bigo kar chali jatin.
Or wo roty roty Samunder se kehta k " kitney bi paoon chu lo par main tumhe kabi maaf nahi karun ga."


Apni Family Bnana

Teacher- Tum bare hokar kya karoge?? Student- Shaadi. Teacher- Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?? Student- Dulha. Teacher- Ohho, I mean 2 say, bare hoker kya haasil karoge?? Student- Dulhan. Teacher- Abbe matlab bare ho kar mammy papa ke liye kya karoge?? Student- Bahu launga. Teacher- o jahil admi:( tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?? Student- Pota. Teacher- Hey raba!! Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai?? Student- Apni family bnana.

Pata Nahi

ak ustad class main peraha raha tha. ustad ne black board per M likha aur class main ak lerky aslam se poocha , keh ye kia likha ha .aslam ne kaha pata nahi.to ustad ne ghuse se kaha keh ye tera bap ha.aur ustad ne ak aur lerky ko khara kia .aur black board per W likha. to poocha ye kia likha ha to us ne jawab dia ye he to aslam ka bap. laken tangay ooper kiay huvay ha.

Beggars Are Choosers

Aik faqir bacha awaz laga raha tha: Allah ke naam pe kutch do. Aik aurat ne darwaza khol ke puchha khana khao ge? Bache ne puchha kiya paka hai? Aurat ne jawab diya daal aur chawal. Bache ne kaha thehro and apne jeb se cell phone nikala and dial kar ke baat ki. Phir phone band kar ke kaha, Maajee sirf chawal de do, ammi keh rahi hai use murghi ka salan mil gaya hai.

English Ka Din

aik bar aik bache ke ghar aik aadmy aaya aur kaha apne aboo ko bulao to bache ne kaha wo bath room mein hain wo aadmy yeh sun kr kehne laga beta aise nahi kehte kehte.kaho k my dady is in wash room.larke ne yeh yad kar liya.phir jub us k aboo aye to kaha aajao drive par chalte hain aur woh bahir nikle to bache ne kaha papa murgi anda de rahi hey to abu ne kaha aise nahi kehte.kaho the hen is laying egg.us bache ne yeh yad kar liya.jab wo car mein bethe to bache ne dekha ke k abu ne car 180 ki speed par chalai hai to kaha abu car 180 ki speed par chal rahi hai.to abu ne kaha beta aise nhi kehte.kaho the car is at 180's speed.us ne ye sab yad kr liya.jb woh ghar wapis aaya to us k abu bathroom chalay gai aur woh aadmi wapis aaya aur abu ka pucha to bache ne kaha my father is in washroom laying eggs at 180's speed.

Salgirah Ka Tohfa 

bivi: aj meri salgirah hai. mujhe ap kya tohfa dey gay.
shohar: wo samny siyah Car dekh rahi ho?
bivi: (herat aur Khushi se). Aap mujhy wo Car le ker de gay?
shohar: nahi, mein tmhein us rang ki poni le ker don ga.

Pathan Ki Chappal

Ek Pathan qabrastanmai mai baitha tha
Wahan se ek sakhs ka guzar huwa us ne poocha aap yahan kuon baithe hai
 Pathan ne kaha mere chapel koi le gaya hai kabhi na kabhi to yahan aye ga.

Zaheen Pathaan

Pathan: Hum is kamre me nhi rahe ga hmko pagal samjha hai kia?
Paisa itna diya of kamra itna chota sa.....
Waiter: Oye, Paagle andar to chal ye lift hai.

Rishta

Teacher: Zmeen aur chand ka apas main kia rishta hai?
 Pathan: bhai behan ka.
 Teacher: Wo kaisay?
 Pathan: Q k log chand ko mamu Aur zameen ko maa kehtay hain.

Shadi

Khan Sahab
Humko shadi per BMW mila hy
Freind
Lekin meny tu tumhary ghar koi car dekhi nahi dekhi
 Khan Oye BMW ka mutlab hai Bohat Mota Wife.

Buray Amaal

qiamat k din tamam logon ko apney buray aamaal likhny k liye ek paper diya gaya tamam logon k liye paper bohat mushkil tha. achnak zardari bola,"extra sheet please"

Passport Size Photo Nikalo

Pathan k ek jumlay ne Photographer ko pagal kar dia:
.
.
.
.
.
"Yara passport size photo nikalo
Lekin mera Chappal bhe aana chaheye"

Pyaar Karna

Girl: KHAN SB Tum mujy subha sy ly kr sham tk or sham sy ly kr subha tk pyar kerna
 .PATHAN: oye Zalim ka bachi To phir hum NASWAR kab khaye ga!!!

Sardar Ka Interview

Ek pathan aur ek Sardar ka interview tha..
 
PATHAN se:
 
Q: Taleem? Ans: B.A
 Q: Pakistan kb bna? Ans: koshish pehle se chal rahi thi par 1947
  Q: Pakistan ka pm kon hy? Ans: buht ae gae lekn ab geelani shab..
 
SARDAR ye sub sun raha tha usne teno ans yaad krlie
1- B.A,
2- 1947,
3- Geelani
 
 Ab SARDAR se:
 
 Q: Naam? Ans: B.A
 Q: Kab paida hoay? Ans: koshish buhot pehly jari thi per 1947
  Q: Baap ka naam? Ans: wese to kitne aaye gaye lekin ab geelani sahab hai

Chashma Laga Ke

Pathan: Doctor Sahib chashma lga k hum Akhbar parh sake ga na?
 
Doctor: Haan, bilkul...!

Pathan: Phir theek hy Warna un-parh ki zindgi b koi zindgi hy

Pathan Ki Naat

Pathan pehle roze ko masjid me naat prhne gya
sub logo ne ose bht mara!
 
Kyun?
 
Kyun k pehle hi roze me naat prh raha tha
 
"Alvidah Alvidah mahe Ramzan"

Male Female

Pathan was waiting 4 Train with His Wife
 
Train Aai, Uper Likha Tha "Khyber Mail"
 
Pathan Bhag kar Charh gaya. Aur Biwi se kaha:
 
Jab "Khyber Female" Aye To Tm b Charh Jana.

Subah Eid Ho

Ek Pathan ko kisi ne kaha Aftaari k waqat jo bhi Dua mango qabool hoti hai.
 
Pehle Rozay ki Aftaari k waqt Khan Sahab: Ya Allah! Subah Eid ho jaye.

Jahan Khuwaab Waha HBL

Pathan ko khwab me ksi ne QATAL krdia
 
Subha pathan ne apna HBL ka Account band kradya
 
Q?

  Q k HBL ap k khuwabon ko haqiqat me badal skta hy
 "JAHA KHWAB WAHA HBL"

Khan Ki Kidnapping

KHAN Ne 1 Bacha Agwa kia
Or Sticker Pe Likh K Bache Pe Chipkaya:
"10 Laakh KaL Subah PuL K Neeche Pohncha Do"
Or Bache Ko Ghar Wapis Bhejh Dia.
Dosre Din Wo Pul K Neche Gaya Tu
Use Paise MiL Gye
Or
Sath Sticker Pe Likha Tha:
Khuda Qasm
Paise Ka Gham Ni,
Gham Is Baat Ka
Hai K
KHAN Ne KHAN Ko Loota

Tumko Sharam Nahi Aati

Friend: Tumko Sharam Nahi Aati Tumhara Baap Tailor hai.
Aur Tmhari Shirt Phati Hui Hai.
Sardar: Sharam to Tumko Bhi Nahi Aati.
Tumhara Baap Dentist Hai or Tumhara Bhai Bina Dant k Paida Hua!

Main Tumse Pyaar Karti Hun

SANTA: "I Love U"
Means Kya Hota H?
GIRL: Mai Tumse Pyar Krti Hun
SANTA: Le 1 Questn Kya Pucha, Tu To Mujse Pyar Kr Baithi "Pagli"

Banglore

Sardar traveling 1st time in plane, going to Bangalore. While landing, he shouted Banglore Banglore Airhostess said: B silent. Sardar: ok anglore anglore.

No Word Like IMPOSSIBLE In My Dictionary

Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
 "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"

A Sardar Prays Daily For 2 Hours
 
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady."

After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,"Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley"


Sardar English Ke Paper Main Fail Ho Gaya

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do or do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
 I belong 2 green pur thousanda

Iqbal Ne Pucha

Allama Iqbal ne parinday se poochha: "Kia tumhein Aasmaan se girne ka der Nahi hota..?”
Parinda bola: "Yaar Iqbal !Teri mehrbani , inna na sochia kr..”

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